Your first lessons in love leave an imprint on your soul. Your childhood imprints of intimacy mark the way you love the rest of your life.
Ask yourself the following question:
Can you recall being comforted as a child after a time of emotional distress?
I’m not talking about situations like a scraped knee or stubbed toe.
How you answer that question could reveal a lot about your imprint of intimacy from your first love relationships. This imprint forms your style.
What Are Love Styles?
I’m not talking about Gary Chapman’s Love Languages here. Those are great- just not the topic of this series. Milan and Kay Yerkovich’s love styles help us get to the root of how our first lessons in love impact how we love today.
Your experiences as a child leave an imprint on your soul. This imprint informs the way you respond to the love of others even into adulthood. It also informs the way you express love to others.
You may have been imprinted to avoid, please, vacillate, control, be a victim, or more. Whatever the case, you may have grown up without the healthy, secure foundation that relationships are a safe place for you to go to receive comfort.
You may have had the unique ability to grow up as a secure connector. This is the ideal way to relate to others from a place of security, trust, and respect. Unfortunately, many of us have developed a destructive love style.
How About You? Do You Have A Secure Or Destructive Love Style?
For your convenience, you can access all of the posts about love styles here. I’m still working on adding posts about the remaining three styles.
The Secure Connector
- The Avoider Love Style
- I’m an Avoider. What Now?
- Transformational Parenting for the Avoider
- Help! I’m Married to an Avoider
- The Pleaser Love Style
- I’m a Pleaser, What Now?
- Transformational Parenting for the Pleaser
- Help! I’m Married to a Pleaser