Barbed Mother’s Day

For many, Mother’s Day is a beautiful holiday of remembrance of one who sacrificed so greatly for them and who loves (or loved them) more than almost anyone. It is a day to celebrate and honor. That is how it is for me. Because of that, I have to all the more be cautious. It is not so with everyone. I have to walk tenderly, lovingly, and prayerfully with those for whom Mother’s Day stings, pokes, and cuts.

The Rough Truth about Holidays

Holidays are full of emotion and memories. Memories can be beautiful, enveloping us in a cloak of warmth and love. And for many, they end there, making holidays something to always look forward to. Yet, these same memories can end in a pang of pain, like someone stuck a spear in our side when we realize that what we are remembering will never be again on this side of eternity. This is especially true for those who have a loved one struggling with Alzheimer’s, other debilitating diseases, or who has passed away. The best and dearest holidays can then be overcast by a dark cloud of grief.

Holidays targeted at a group like Moms, Dads, and Valentines can be painful to a large group of people who either don’t have the relationships they long for or never got to experience the joys of those positions.

By All Means- Celebrate!

This Mother’s Day, you may have a lot to celebrate. I know I do! I will celebrate my own dear mother who loves me in a way no one else on earth ever will. I can’t even put into words how wonderful that is and how dear to me she is! I will celebrate my mother-in-law, to treasures our family. Watching her love on our boys is one of my greatest joys! I will celebrate the gift of our sons and the blessing that makes me tear up- that I get to be their Mom. It is a day to celebrate. If you have something to celebrate this day, please, please, do so lavishly! And remember…

Extend Empathy to the Grieving

Be kind and thoughtful as you go through this Mother’s Day season. Recognize that for some, the hanging plant specials at the store are just another reminder of a loss. As they pear over the fence into your Mother’s Day celebrating, they might be poked and cut by the barbed wire of their own painful griefs.  Tread kindly, speak empathy, and pray heartily for those who:

  • Lost their mom as a child
  • Long to have kids, but can’t
  • Had a mom abandon them
  • Have a mom with Alzheimer’s or dementia
  • Had to give up their children to adoption due to poverty (this happens all over the globe- mom’s painfully sacrificing for their children to have a better chance at life)
  • Long to be a mom, but aren’t married yet
  • Have a mom in a coma or otherwise unconscious state
  • Had their children taken away due to drug addiction or incarceration
  • Have a mom who is/was abusive
  • Had an abortion
  • Have a mom who passed away
  • Sold a child in desperation (very common in many places due to extreme poverty, natural disasters, and war-torn devastation)
  • Long for their mom to love them and be proud of them
  • Weren’t the mom they wish they had been
  • Are estranged from their mom
  • And more…

Joy and Lament

As in life in general, joy and lament are both found in Mother’s Day. Celebration, remembrance and joy warm and lift the spirit. Grief, regret, and guilt drag the spirit down to lament. Be sensitive to those around you this Mother’s Day.

Romans 12:15Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.

Embrace Wholly

My prayer is that this blog helps you to Engage Deeply, Embrace Wholly, Delight Lavishly! Be sure that you are bringing your whole self to the table this Mother’s Day. Lament all you need to. Work through forgiving your mom if you need to. Bask in God’s forgiveness if you are struggling with guilt and regret. Seek God to help you bring your whole self to your relationships with your mom and your kids.

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