The Blessing: An Active Commitment

Through blessing, we communicate God’s heart about the inherent worth and value of every individual we bless. The absence of blessing in a person’s life leaves a void where love, acceptance, and emotional connection should reside.

According to John Trent and Gary Smalley in The Blessing: Giving the Gift of Unconditional Love and Acceptance, one of the elements of blessing is an active commitment.

What is An Active Commitment?

An active commitment is a crucial element of a blessing that goes beyond mere words or intentions. It involves making a sincere and ongoing dedication to see the blessing come to fruition. It requires consistent action, effort, and follow-through. An active commitment demonstrates a genuine investment in the well-being and growth of the individual being blessed. It shows that the blesser is willing to walk alongside the recipient, providing support, guidance, and resources to help them thrive. This commitment creates a sense of security and trust, as the recipient knows they have someone who is actively involved in their journey and genuinely cares about their success.

The element of an active commitment in a blessing entails a willingness to go the extra mile. It means being present and available, actively listening to the needs and concerns of the recipient, and responding with compassion and support. It may involve offering practical assistance, mentorship, or guidance to help the individual overcome challenges and obstacles. An active commitment demonstrates a genuine belief in the potential and worth of the recipient, motivating both parties to work together towards a shared vision. It fosters a sense of accountability, as the blesser is actively involved in helping the recipient realize their goals and aspirations.

Moreover, an active commitment in a blessing implies an ongoing dedication to growth and development. It means recognizing that change and progress are dynamic processes that require continuous effort and adaptability. The blesser commits to supporting the recipient’s journey of personal and spiritual growth, understanding that it may involve setbacks, learning experiences, and deepening their relationship with God. This commitment encourages resilience and perseverance, as both the blesser and recipient navigate the ups and downs of life together. An active commitment in a blessing creates a foundation of trust, allowing the recipient to feel safe and supported as they embark on their journey towards the special future God has for them.

In summary, an active commitment is an essential element of a blessing that goes beyond words, demonstrating ongoing dedication, support, and involvement in the recipient’s journey. It involves a willingness to invest time, effort, and resources, and to be present throughout the process of growth and development. This commitment creates a sense of security, trust, and accountability, fostering a partnership that empowers the recipient to reach their full potential.

How Can You Demonstrate an Active Commitment?

Ask the Lord to confirm the blessing: Before extending a blessing, it is important to seek God’s heart for the person. Ask Him to help you understand who you created that person to be and how He sees them. The blessing you share will need to align with His heart, will and purpose. He is the most consistent one, so we ask Him to be the One to do the blessing, we know He will. Asking Him to confirm the blessing to the child or person invites Him to do what only He can do- be the One who actually blesses.
Seek the best interests of the one being blessed: An active commitment involves placing the best interests of the recipient at the forefront. Take the time to understand their needs, desires, and aspirations. Listen attentively to their concerns and dreams. Tailor the blessing to their unique circumstances, gifts, and potential. God says “train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6). This is better translated, “Train up a child according to his bent” (p140).By genuinely seeking to understand and support the individual’s best interests, you demonstrate a commitment to their overall welfare and growth.
Discipline when appropriate: An active commitment may sometimes require the application of discipline. Discipline should be exercised with love, grace, and discernment. When necessary, offer correction, guidance, and accountability. Help the individual develop self-discipline and make choices that align with their values and goals. Discipline serves as a tool for growth and character development, ensuring that the blessing extends beyond momentary gratification to long-term transformation and success.
Become a student of those you wish to bless: To fully engage in an active commitment, adopt a posture of humility and a willingness to learn. Take the time to understand the recipient’s strengths, weaknesses, and unique qualities. Study their interests, passions, and aspirations. By becoming a student of those you wish to bless, you gain insights that enable you to tailor your support, encouragement, and guidance to their specific needs. This approach fosters a deeper connection and demonstrates your commitment to their growth and well-being.

In summary, an active commitment in the context of a blessing involves seeking confirmation from the Lord, prioritizing the best interests of the individual, exercising appropriate discipline, and adopting a posture of learning. By following these steps, you can effectively demonstrate your ongoing dedication, support, and involvement in the recipient’s journey, leading to a more meaningful and transformative blessing experience.

Here are some specific questions you can ask your children to live out this aspect of the blessing:

What do you daydream about most often?
What would you really enjoy doing when you are a young adult (twenty to thirty)?
Of all the people you have studied in the Bible, who would you most like to be like? Why?
What do you believe God wants you to do for humankind?
What type of boyfriend or girlfriend are you most attracted to and why?
What is the best part of your school day? What is the worst? (p146).

This means setting aside time to talk to your kids, ask questions, study what they are interested in, do it with them when possible, and look them in their eyes as they talk about the things important to them.

What Happens if Someone Doesn’t Receive the Blessing of an Active Commitment?

It is important for us not to ignore this need in our children, spouses, and close friends, as denying them active commitment to their blessing, we are denying them an important part of the blessing. The absence of adults who were actively committed to their blessing can have profound negative consequences on an individual’s emotional, psychological, and relational well-being. Without the presence of committed adults, individuals may struggle to develop a strong sense of self-worth, identity, and purpose. The lack of consistent support, guidance, and encouragement can lead to feelings of insecurity, self-doubt, and a diminished sense of belonging. Without adults actively committed to their blessing, individuals may also face challenges in forming healthy relationships, as they may struggle with trust issues and have difficulty understanding their own value and worth. The absence of committed adults in their lives can leave a void that hinders personal growth, resilience, and the ability to envision and pursue a special future.

Jesus Demonstrated an Active Commitment

Jesus demonstrated the aspect of blessing through an active commitment to seeing the blessing come to life in several ways:

Teaching and Discipleship: Jesus made a committed effort to teach and disciple his followers, investing time and energy into their growth and development. He walked alongside them, imparting knowledge, wisdom, and spiritual guidance. Jesus actively nurtured their faith, challenged their beliefs, and equipped them to carry on his mission. His commitment to their transformation was evident in his patient teaching, personal interactions, and intentional investment in their lives.
Sacrificial Love and Service: Jesus exemplified an active commitment through his sacrificial love and service. He consistently prioritized the needs of others above his own, demonstrating a selfless dedication to their well-being. He healed the sick, fed the hungry, and cared for the marginalized. Jesus’ actions reflected his commitment to seeing the blessing of wholeness, restoration, and abundant life come to fruition in the lives of those he encountered.
The Cross: The ultimate demonstration of Jesus’ active commitment was seen in his willingness to endure the cross. Jesus willingly laid down his life as a sacrifice for humanity, bearing the weight of sin and offering the gift of salvation. His unwavering commitment to fulfilling God’s plan for redemption and reconciliation revealed his deep love for humanity and his determination to see the ultimate blessing of eternal life and reconciliation with God come to pass.
The Promise of the Holy Spirit: Before ascending to heaven, Jesus promised to send the Holy Spirit to his disciples. This promise highlighted his active commitment to ensuring that his followers would not be left alone but would receive ongoing guidance, comfort, and empowerment. By sending the Holy Spirit, Jesus continued to actively support and guide his disciples, even in his physical absence.

In summary, Jesus demonstrated an active commitment to seeing the blessing come to life through teaching, discipleship, sacrificial love, the cross, and the promise of the Holy Spirit. His actions revealed a deep and unwavering dedication to the well-being, transformation, and ultimate blessing of humanity. Jesus’ example serves as an inspiration for us to likewise engage in an active commitment to bless others, investing our time, love, and resources to see the blessings of growth, restoration, and abundant life become a reality in their lives.

The Ultimate End: The Father Lifting them Up into All They Are as His Beloved Sons and Daughters

Usually extended by a parent or loving adult to a child, the blessing ultimately aids a child to be able to see God as their Heavenly Father, loving lifting them up into all He created them to be. It shields them from an orphan mindset and creates space in their spirit for sonship in the Kingdom of God and an inner knowing that they are fully and freely accepted as a son or daughter of the King.

Shame Deterrent, Orphan Mindset Defense

The blessing is a deterrent against shame taking hold, leading to bondage in all kinds of addictions that allure someone into thinking this will fill that void. It also protects against distortions of Who the Heavenly Father is, which can lead to all kinds of pain, misconceptions about God, and an orphan mindset. In short, this gift is like armor from the inside that we can give our children (and others).

Promotes A Healthy Love Style

When people don’t receive the blessing, they often struggle with being a secure connector, and often develop an unhealthy love style pattern that leaves them in hurtful relationship patterns, not finding the support and comfort that God designed for safe relationship to nourish.

Redeemed Blessing

If you haven’t yet extended the gift of the blessing to your own children by extending an active commitment to them- as long as you both are alive, there is still opportunity. Take a step toward it today. If someone you love hasn’t received it, prayerful extension of blessing through you could be a healing gift. Ask the Lord His heart over the person and communicate what He leads you to. It can be life-changing.

If you feel you missed out on the blessing, you could honestly and lovingly share how you feel with those in your life who could extend it (See p195-197 of The Blessing for a respectful, prayerful example of how this could be done but know this is not fitting in all circumstances and honesty without love can push people further away). You can also seek to understand as much as possible about your parents’ backgrounds. Often they are hurting for the blessing, too.

Ultimate Redemption of The Blessing

Ultimately, all earthy blessing is a shadow of the ultimate, eternal blessing God extends to us every breath we take. The longing we have can only fully be met in the One who will never forsake us, let us down, or run out of energy to listen to us and pursue us with His love and delight in us.

He offers the unwavering commitment, secure connection, stable relationship, unconditional love, unfailing kindness, and permanent presence that even the best, most well-meaning parent will fall short of.

The Lord binds up our wounds, carries our pain, and heals us from the inside out Isaiah 61:1-3). He never grows weary or frustrated with us. He is always inviting us into more of Himself. As we know Him better, He restores the blessing. His blessing is perfect for us. He alone can invite and lift us up into all that we are as we rest in all that He is.

Sip Life Slowly and Enjoy It

Wholeheartedly delight in the macro and micro of life in God.

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